The World of Medication

WARNING - This is a vent: you may agree/disagree. Not looking for feedback, just a place to post my thoughts.

If someone is ill, within certain guidelines, medication is prescribed, sometimes short term, say a 10 day antibiotic. If the illness is more chronic or long term, i.e. blood pressure, diabetes etc. it could be life long. What about mental illness -there is a little bit of both, right?

Now think of all those commercials you see for medication, which might I add, the US is one of two countries that can advertise medication on television. You know the voice that tells you about the 1002 side effects you may get if you take THIS medication? Hmmm, makes you wonder why you would want to try.
But you and your condition go to the Dr. and the Dr. says try THIS and you do and you get 2 of the 1000 side effect. Not bad odds, except instead of the lack of appetite and shortness of breath, you gained 45pounds and now have a rapid heartbeat.
BUUUUUTTTT you feel better say "mentally" then you have ever felt before.
So, you weigh the pros and cons and say okay, I'll be stable and functional but fat and take another med to counter act the heartbeat.

Its frustrating. Its frustrating for ME. Because this is ME. I have been wrangling with different medications to control my anxiety, depression and borderline since late JAN. We thought we had the right combo - it only caused 20lb weight gain and headaches which we counteracted with just 1 drug. Then in mid Sept. I had another "episode", the drugs were changed....another 20lbs, extreme fatigue/sleepiness and the depression got worse. And every drug you try, or increase or decrease it takes around 5 weeks to see the results, just a glimpse of "if this is a fix". The waiting is excruciating on everyone around.

What happens when they think the 500mg dose is now a good one and you send off for your 3month mail order and get the bill for over $300! Okay, I was already depressed, I know this is the drug that makes me fat and now its making me poor. Tell me how this is going to make me better?
One week after getting this filled we go back to the Dr. tell her about the extreme weight gain, extreme price (extreme cost b/c we have to get new clothes too), I am so tired....people saying hopefully she'll take you off of it. NO WAY I have $300 worth of it in my cabinet. Thankfully we just reduce the dose in hopes that it works but the weight drops etc. etc.
The generic $3 a month anti -dep isn't working, lets try a BRAND NEW drug, no generic of course. $22 a month. Seriously - this medication thing and anxiety/depression don't really work well together if you are purchasing it yourself. Every penny or hundred of dollars you spend make you feel mad, sad, and frankly - worse! about the whole situation. So, from now on I think Jake is responsible for my meds. AND I will not weigh myself. I will do what I can to be healthy but I can not control what "x" drug is doing to me, other then it is working and I have to accept that I need it and weight is weight. Its better to be overweight and alive and part of life then skinny and depressed, right? Remind me of that as I purchase new 2 sizes bigger, with money I don't have, jeans.

That's my rant and rave - you need this for this, and then this drug to offset the effect of this drug and all the while its dollars here and dollars there. What if I just stopped it all? Would I REALLY GO REALLY CRAZY? I would have a heck of a lot more money per month, I'll tell ya that!