Thankful list continued

Days 8-14

8. The Keurig - I like coffee, tea, cider, chai and this puts it all at my finger tips in less than 3 minutes.
9. My SOLDIER aka brother Brandon - need I say more, my hero, my friend, my little brother - love him to pieces, loves his country more than his life.
10. I admit it, I have a new love of the MAC and really want an I-phone and yes this a materialistic, humanistic, All American WANT!
11. Good neighbors. I have been blessed in several of our homes with REALLY good neighbors. This is the second time in my adult life that I have had the blessing of a neighbor that has become a good friend. Jennifer, you have NOT been replaced in any way. However, Tamara, I have loved getting to know you and treasure our new friendship. Weekly coffee dates after a run to the bus stop are an added plus!
12. Coffee, Diet Mountain Dew, Scentsy and MUSIC!
13. A husband who constantly strives to provide the best for us, no matter what it costs him emotionally or physically.
14. The wonder that IS...SNOW!

And sometimes....

No matter how thankful you are for what you "have" you can't help but feel empty. I find myself in this place a lot. I would like to blame it all on my chemical imbalances that have been diagnosed by several medical professionals - some of which are fairly severe. However, some would argue that is taking the easy way out. Some days, I agree. Some days, I am confused and just hate feeling how I "feel" and then other days I think if I could just get my appropriate dose of "daily bread" the hole wouldn't feel so deep.
Any way you paint the picture, I am still me. I am still here. I have a heartache that I can't seem to find the arms of comfort for. I KNOW in my head that there is only one set of arms that can handle my unexplainable emotions or chemical imbalances - what has become known as my REALITY.  I yearn to just feel it, the comfort. I yearn to be able to rest. I am weary.
I don't purposely try to carry the burden on my own. I don't knowingly turn the other cheek. I just don't know how to let myself be  LOVED by the one true LOVE of my life.
I like to find songs that resonate with how I feel. Sometimes I feel like the lyrics of a song can better put into words how I am feeling or make a point that I want to make. The song Glorious Day by Casting Crowns is it for me right now.....it is the ring tone on my phone in fact and wouldn't you know it, we sang it on Sunday - tell me how that works?! So, I sing it, I get lost in the lyrics, I feel it and I know that my sins are carried far away. He loves me, he saved me. ME, ME, ME! And that's enough. In the end that is all there is to it, that is all we need. I don't need to look further or know anything else. The "empty" I feel can be replaced with his Glory. I can finally rest my weary head, in all His Glory.

I need to love myself, just a fraction of how he loves me, to allow that to settle in. And freely forever - Oh glorious day - I will not be empty any more.


Glorious Day by Casting Crowns
One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a Virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He

Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary's mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He

Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me

'Cause living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He's ascended, my Lord evermore

Death could not hold Him
The grave could not keep Him from rising again

Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day
Glorious day

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my beloved one bringing
My Savior Jesus is mine

Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day
Glorious day, oh, glorious day

Thankful

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, and following the lead of others and there 30days of thankfulness.... I want to change the tone of where I was going with my last post. I want to reflect on what I am thankful for.

1. A Bible teaching church where I am challenged, accepted, loved and "met" whenever I show up!

2. An ever increasing awareness that I am LOVED. Moving around a lot has made my life colorful and fascinating and splashed with many different types of people. I take many friendships with me, when I leave one "home" to go to the "next" and each time, I am reminded that God knows just who we need and when.

3. Fireplaces - I am oddly mesmerized by a fireplace. It makes me feel warm, literally, and warm, emotionally. I feel peaceful and cozy and well, I can't quite explain it, there's just something about a fireplace.

4. My relationship with my grandmother - wow! I have known for awhile that it was unique. But living so close to her and all the time we spend together, I am in awe about how truly SPECIAL it is. I do NOT take it for granted. Her stories, her memories, her friendship, her guidance - we share a special bond that I am so incredibly thankful for!

5. Seasons - Having grown up in S. Ca. I did not experience much in the way of seasons. Living in Oklahoma and now Idaho, we get seasons. I need seasons. I need change. It is such a visual reminder that things CHANGE. I like to think of it as God's BIG version of Ecclesiastes to us - that there is a TIME for everything. And just when it is too hot and you can't stand it any longer, the leaves change. Or just when the clouds seem like they will not lift, the sun comes out and the flower bloom. Just like the peaks and valleys in our life?! I like the analogy anyway.

6. The idea or reality of "perfect timing" - see my last post - then read Matthew 6:25. That was a portion of what was preached on in church today. The meat of it? Do not worry about tomorrow, ask God TODAY for your "daily bread". Ask him for your sustenance to get you through today. We have no idea if we will have a tomorrow, so why waste the time worrying about it. I actually got WAY more out of it than that, but that part was a direct correlation to my last post and thought, He knows, He always knows.


7. People named Sara(h), Jen, Christi and Kari - lots of variations in spelling and I kid you not. Okay, so if you don't happen to have that name, it does not mean I do not love you. But much of my strength, encouragement, daily "talk" and survival has to do with people who all share the same name. Go figure. You are each precious to me. I have a support system that stretches from CA to OK, north of there and south and everywhere in between. BLESSED!


I do realize it is the 13th, I am only a little more than 1/2 way there.....I will catch up, maybe tomorrow.

Until then, rest in your blessings, thank God for the bread he has given you today.  And yes, we took this picture ourselves, out in the mountains near McCall - amazing!

A Little Reluctance, Some Uncertainty, and a Prayer for Peace

I have been so reluctant to just jump in there, to just reopen my heart. But it is apparent to me that HERE is where I belong. Behind a keyboard, pouring out my emotions and trying to make sense of a life that only my God truly understands.
I was certain, after a year and a half of unemployment and various challenges and trials that when we were presented with the opportunity to move back to Idaho, return to Simplot, be near my family, that it was GOD that was opening the doors. I'm not saying now, that I have changed my mind. I am just saying that 10months after the journey began and the news that Jake's plant will be closing and the certainty of his job is MORE than up in the air...that I feel unsettled. Okay, okay, more than unsettled. I feel sick.
I want more than anything to be the good Christian, Faith Believing girl that can say, God knows what this is about, no worries. I want to say, we are good right now, let's count our blessings. I want to surprise everyone and be the half glass full kinda gal. But guess what, I'm not going to sugar coat this moment, because that would leave my mind reeling. So, I will tell you how I feel. I feel let down, again....by who? Corporate America? The state of the economy? Myself and the decision that I was a part of to move my family 1700 miles from everything they new for THIS? And then it hits me....is that where my Faith is? In corporate America (cause that is scary).
I am scared. I do not want to walk down a path that I just traveled. I am tired, I am weary.
Is it okay that I dream? Just for a moment? Hang with me just so I can get this out....I want to live in ONE place for a LONG time. In a house that I can call MINE - you got to live there longer then oh 3years for that feeling to start. I want to feel that settled feeling and the linger in the ideas and day dreams of my kids staying in 1 school longer than a year.
Please, don't get me wrong. I am blessed, I am not complaining, I am not minimizing those trials and tribulations that others face that are far greater than mine. I do realize that this is minor in the grand scheme of things. But for now, for this day, and this minute, within this hour, my heart is weary, my faith is wavering and I needed to just say what was on my heart.
I do know, deep down, that my GOD has got me. That there is a plan and a reason and a time for everything. And because I choose to believe this, I also choose to accept that I may not ever know or understand the timing.
God, place your hands upon my heart. Protect it from the pokings and prodings of satan as he attacks me where I am vulnerable - worry, doubt, detachment. Remind me in the little things that you are ever present. And for that, I am thankful.

Help me with my MAC!!!!

I do believe my life on the PC, as we know it, is ending. And I am coming into an era where most of you have already been living - THE ERA OF THE MAC! Mind you we have had one since 2009 but I have fearfully stayed away from it.
I have had a wonderful day of not much to do, too many pictures lying around in what we would call "unsafe" places and a need to get them loaded, unloaded, saved, burned etc. etc. and thus I have dived into the world of what I think was known as "Jake's Laptop world" to "Keri's MacBook Pro HEAVEN!"

I have so much to learn still. I have mastered my ipod nano, 1st generation from 2009, and the iphone 3g but folks, that is about where it stops. LOL!

I certainly haven't hooked any of these pieces up to each other and let them interface with each other.
So, here is where you tell me "WHY HAVE YOU WAITED?" and then you tell me, I am way out of date already. And then...you help me with iphoto, itunes, how to get all my itunes songs that are on my PC onto my itunes on this Mac and well, just walk me through this transition. Please?
I promise I will blog to you about more important things and more exciting things and even post pictures.

Sarah Fitz...I'm talking to you!!!

The Mountains

There is something ever so peaceful about the mountains. It doesn't seem to matter what season, what month, what the weather is... I love it all. I find refreshment in the breeze and gentle rustle of the pine needles and serenity in the snow falling. I love splashing in the lake and the heat of the summer sun. God reaches down and grabs my soul here.
I am not sure I have allowed myself to truly appreciate the miracle of what is nature, untouched by bustling things of the city, until now. Maybe it is my need to get back to the basics. I need a starting point. I need the stillness and the quiet, to HEAR HIM and KNOW that HE is REAL. And then wit HIM I will move forward.
So, the lyrics of a song that I have heard over and over again, one day two weeks ago, resonated with me in a totally new way. And they come to mind again tonight.

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
{ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/tenth-avenue-north-lyrics/you-are-more-lyrics.html }
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.

So, tonight, here, in the quiet of the creation of the majesty of HIS mountains, I know that I am REMADE. I am more than the choices that I have made, I am more than the sum of my past mistakes.....

Testing the Link...

I am testing some stuff out.
I am frustrated at my progress with my blog.
My priorities (not just with writing ) need to be straightened out...
Anyone ever just feel overwhelmed with life and just not sure where to start to clean it all up?
That's me.

Stay with me

So, if you put your blog on an extended vacation, say WELL over a year, things change. Like suddenly - there's this thing called FaceBook that you need to link your posts to. Your kids GROW and the pictures on your page become wwaaayyy outdated. You also age and well, to keep from feeling that way - want things to just look a little fresh.
All of this to say that this page is undergoing some minor renovations.
I am here, I am committed to writing and blogging.
Please, do not go anywhere.
I will be back with you shortly. Thanks!

Where We Have Been

We have been around the world, or so it seems. Around the bend and down to the river and maybe even over the hill! Seriously, if I tried to update you on the whereabouts of the Lyon family since April of 2010, you would be bored, I would be crazy and well, the computer would die on me. So, in keeping with the current theme of going FORWARD, I am not going to rehash the bad, or reminisce about the good (even though that would be fun). I am going to say thanks for checking in. Thank you for inspiring and encouraging me to write again. Thanks for finding me...
Here we go!

For months now

I have been toying with the idea of starting a new blog. I have created a new template. I have written several posts in my head. However, NOTHING has come to fruition. Today, I finally decided that this is it. New blog, or old blog continued....something would be posted. There is a movement going on, a movement in my soul. And, I am wanting to write it out. I like that there is history here, you can click back and click back and click back and see where God has been in my/our life. How quickly our path can change and how NOT in control we are.
So, this will continue to be my blog. I need to edit the pictures that show up. My kids have changed so much! Hate to say it, but Jake and I have too. Agghhh well, happens to the best of us.
The beginning of this new chapter finds the four of us living in Meridian, ID, with our dog Sophie. We have been living in Idaho since January. This move was a move of faith. And this journey we are on, is nothing less than exciting.